It's been so long..

I tried to be positive, to stop thinking about it. but as much as I tried to convince myself and others that I am a bigger person now.. I failed. It's useless for my friends, my companions, or whoever it is, to continue repeating that I'm gorgeous, that "I'm fine the way I am", I don't believe in what they say and I also don't care. It's not their judgment that changes my behavior towards myself. I've always hated myself, and their stupid occasional words won't change a thing about my way of thinking. I may have stopped complaining about this, but it never left my mind.

They can also be quiet and watch or listen more. Maybe, most often, we do not realize that the people around us have so much to tell, but for fear of being judged they keep everything for themselves.

You are the only one who has been able to settle the storm inside of me

"I'm not an easy person to love. Some days I will whisper how beautiful you are while planting gentle kisses all over your body. You will giggle and try to fight me off and in that moment my heart will have never felt so light. But other days when my mind is a storm cloud threatening to explode, I will be a bundle of emotions that I cannot quite keep contained. I will be cold, distant and you will look at me like I am not the same person you fell in love with. I am a broken light switch. My moods flicker without anyone flipping me on and off. I wake up each morning and wonder which me you will encounter that day. I always hope it is the one who makes you want to stick around. I am not easy to love. But what I need you to understand is that whether there is a war waging inside of my mind or I am the kind person that you adore, I will always love you. I will love you in the morning. I will love you when you cry. I will love you when I am angri. I will love you when you're being stubborn. I will love you when I don't even love myself. I will love you. I know that there will be days when you want to give up on me but I am asking you, please don't. You see, you are the only one who has been able to settle the storm inside of me before I even realize it is surfacing. I am not easy to love, but I promise that I will always put a fight. And I will love you no matter which me my light switch flips on that day. "

source: chickkyyychickk